9 Bullets – Movie Review
2022, NR, 97 mins. Directed by Gigi Gaston. With Lena Headey, Sam Worthington, Dean Scott Vasquez, Cam Gigandet, La La Anthony, Barbara Hershey.
REVIEWED by Richard Whittaker, Fri 22 April 2022
Old stories don’t go away; they just get smaller budgets. Take the old story of the grumpy, reluctant guardian of a child who witnesses a crime and is now the only person capable of bringing down a crime syndicate. Think of Harrison Ford in Witness or The temperature is risingand now there is 9 ballsin which Lena Headey takes a bitcoin trader in between (Vasquez) on the run from Sam Worthington as a redneck gangster who complains that his girlfriend is serving carrots.
9 balls wants to think it’s cool and edgy casting Gypsy as a former burlesque performer working on her new book (which you can tell because her direct casting agent calls her like a minor character from a 90s sitcom ), and slowly warming her up to parenthood. However, this is overshadowed by some trash movies, like a bag of money buried two inches underground, or the characters sitting by a swimming pool in what is clearly late afternoon, watching a sky full of stars. While moments like this might slip past the audience, lousy storylines and beyond questionable character motivations bring the story to a constant, crushing halt. Even adding Anthony as Tamsin, an equally reluctant accidental sidekick/hostage, and staying in a motel run by Lacey, Gypsy’s (Hershey’s) former college professor, does nothing. important. These additions are apparently meant to add thematic relevance about women coming together under extraordinary circumstances, with stripper Tamsin and intellectual Lacey seemingly representing both sides of Gypsy (a wild and insulting cliché about dancers and women workers in the sex being stupid scammers if there is one). But rather 9 balls just constantly misfires, and never gets better than the inadvertent comedy of Worthington pulling a gun on a dog as a bargaining tactic.
6700 Middle Fiskville, 512/467-7305, www.galaxytheatres.com
No one under the age of 18 will be allowed in the theater on Friday or Saturday after 7 p.m. without an adult.
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KEYWORDS FOR THIS FILM
9 Balls, Gigi Gaston, Lena Headey, Sam Worthington, Dean Scott Vasquez, Cam Gigandet, La La Anthony, Barbara Hershey